It's so much easier for me to be a Hindu. Praying is a good thing. But the Judaeo-Christian "holidays" are something to be thankful for. In the United States, people who work for the government in the United States get paid on the Judaeo-Christian holidays. It's so cool--I can be a Hindu (and an aspiring Tibetan Buddhist) AND still get time off.
I'm getting tired of being alone, though. Even my once-a-week meetings have ended because I don't want to put myself down any more. He can call me and kiss me good-bye. But he chooses not to. Therefore, I don't choose him.
What is my problem with relationships? Only my pediatrician knows for sure. As a child, I was never encouraged to think in terms of a happy family life because I didn't have one. I spent most of my time in my room (yes, I'm thankful I had my own room).
Now, living in San Francisco on a public school teacher's salary, I have my own room. It is smaller than the one I had when I was a child. I have no formal closet. All my video and music stuff is all over the place as are my papers. I can only paint in watercolors. Why have I put up with this life for so long? When is a man going to enter my life and me his? I really miss living with a man as a romantic partner. I've probably lived with six or more guys for over 2 years or more in my lifetime.
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