Saturday, June 16, 2007

STIFF UPPER LIPS and more on Amma...

Usually I like British comedy. The film STIFF UPPER LIPS was featured in the British secion of the video store. Although an inventive film, it needed something for women to have even more fun with. The plot revolves around 22-year-old Emily whose aunt wants to have married as soon as possible. Emily is limited to the men in her world: the bushy-eyebrowed vicar, her idiot brother, her brother's Homer-quoting Cambridge friend, and the hunky stableman--turned butler--George. None of these men is within her age range. George is at least 15 years older than she is. Somehow the comedy of classes would have been enhanced by some eye candy for the female viewer. There were some good laughs in the film, though, and I love Peter Ustinov...it must have been made in the 1990's sometime.

Last night was the ashram. I took up all these women who has never seen Amma before. In fact, I feel my seva during this time that Amma has been here has been to transport and help individuals to see Amma. I could tell that Amma was happy with me for bringing my Tibetan friend and some other new women. I promise myself to meditate now and from now on. When I see Amma again, I want to be in closer communication. Last night was very magical, but I hardly saw anyone I know. Actually, every day that I went to the ashram had been very uneventful and yet very calm and peaceful.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

What a way to end the teaching period--seeing Amma!

Quelle liberation!!! Out of the nine years that I have been teaching children with "severe impairments," ages 5 to 8-years-old, the past 2006-2007 school year has been the most maddening of them all.

The first two years were easy: the teacher in the room next to mine taught SI kids, ages 9-12-years-old. She and I would go to lunch at the local Chinese restaurant every day and talk about how difficult our assistants, otherwise known as "paras" were. To be honest, mine were more agreeable than hers, so I could really lend a sympathetic ear. She left to go teach at a private school.

The next five years after that there was a teacher in the next room who from the first day of her employment at the school treated me like I had number two all over my face. Every day for close to five years she would treat me with such disrespect that it was only Psychic Horizons which helped me ground and keep my space because she kept trying to whack me out of it.

Then, for the past three years there has been a teacher next door who sees the teaching of the kids in a very similar way to me and treats me with respect and kindness. This has been a blessing. However, both of us have had to deal with paras who hate us and challenging student configurations. Although both of us have the desire to heal and help, we have found stumbling blocks and boundary violations along the way. Today, the last day of class for the children, we both gave each other a hug for making it through.

What was most interesting today was that I dressed to go see Amma and went down the street to the bank. A young black woman came out of the chic Italian wine bar and told me she liked my attire. I recognized her from a special branch of SFUSD that we both were participants in this semester. She couldn't believe I remembered her. How could I forget? She is very intelligent, witty and caring--and probably in her mid to late twenties. I wish I had been that together at her age!!!! We talked on about teaching and all that--best not to get really into it. Then I went to the store, and I met another woman who also works as an SFUSD teacher! I forgot my groceries. She came out of the store and mentioned that I might be celebrating a bit too early!!!

Meanwhile, the highlight of the day was going to the ashram in San Ramon to see Amma. For the past couple of years I've kind of taken Amma for granted. Tonight I was in complete gratitude mode. How fortunate we are to have a human being like Amma around twice a year!!! The evening was spent in meditation, singing, talking with friends, old and new. I enjoyed speaking with an Indian woman who had a darling 9-year-old daughter and a son soon to go into pre-med. I hope I see her on Friday at Devi Bhava. The energy at the ashram was extremely relaxed and soothing. I ate dinner alone by the lake, listening to the crickets.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I saw Amma on Tuesday.

Please excuse the last post. I'm too tired to try to figure out how to edit a post with blogger.com. There quite a few errors in it and it had little to say.

At least now I'm going to describe my visit to see Amma on Tuesday morning this week. We arrived at 10:10 am and Amma hadn't come yet. Next minute Amma is there. The ashram is covered with devotees. I got darshan around 2:30 pm, but in the meanwhile I had a really intense meditation sitting on the floor near Amma. I like to sit there. Fortunately, the ashram was not so crowded that I could sit and meditate there.

Went to have lunch. The Indian food line was really long...not a big deal. Talked with a woman in line about her business doing energy/healing work with people with cerebral palsy. I was trying not to think of work!!!

Amma has been on my mind as well what happens at the ashram when she' there.

Last year I went to Amma's ashram in San Ramon every Saturday night for satsang. This year, I've only gone to one satsang. It was in April. Actually I could write at least a short story about all that has happened to me by me for me at me with me and etc. at Amma's ashram--especially when Amma is there.

Back in 2002 in a floatingly hot summer, I spent Devi Bhava with a very young man from Montreal with dreadlocks and a drum. We both got mantras and names that night. He uses his--abbreviatedly--now. (I said "Hi" to him at Amma's birthday satsang last September--a million years ago!!!) I don't use mine. It's too weird. I thought Amma was going to give me a name that meant "Patience" but she gave me the name Charuta. The moon is in the name somewhere, but it doesn't mean "moon." But I digress again. It's all in a name, isn't it? For me, Amma really blew me away in a way, but actually the first thought that came to me was "inner" with regard to "beauty." It has been a problem for me to look at myself on the outside.

When I think I've done some work on my inner world, I do something karmic to make everything more challenging.

This young man I met at the ashram that year and I related to one another in a more karmic way for me. I have Venus, Rahu and a very important other planet in Scorpio in the 10th house.

"Wear your love like heaven...
Alizarin crimson...
Can I believe what I see
All I have wished for could be
All our races proud and free...

Saturday, June 02, 2007

THE DEVIL IN DANIEL JOHNSTON and Greetings

This was the second night I watched the film THE DEVIL IN DANIEL JOHNSTON. When I saw the MTV footage of him from about 1985 I realized that I had seen him before--on TV! Many people become famous through that medium. But I think Daniel will be more well-known for all the documentation he did on himself throughout his teens and twenties. He recorded many of his musings and made films when he was in high school. The film about him is therefore full of rich documentation of a true artist. This particular artist is one who was suffering for a long time with mental illness.

Many of us wanted to be on MTV in the eighties. Videos were on constantly, and there were many theme musical shows, one of which Daniel Johnston performed on. He was a product of a kind of Amurikana that is steeped in Christianity and the Bible. No wonder he came from the southern US of A. To me he's kind of an anthropological study of a culture that is its very own and which I, though from the suburbs of San Francisco, can appreciate.

But what's most important about Daniel's contribution to the world is his music and his visual art, paintings and drawings. His metaphors are so simple and sweet. It is no wonder that he went off his meds weeks before he would perform. And though people--his peers one of whom I am--could find some of his lyrics somewhat over the top, the sentiment is real and therefore to be accepted as such.

There is much more to be said about this artist but I would just recommend the documentary. Some may find it exploitative of the mentally ill. I see it as an appreciate of genius.

Just to digress like I usually like to, I want to say that if anyone writes me a "Hi there" I will not respond. For some reason this harmless phrase puts me off. It's an acknowledgment of personal space without the warmth of sincere greeting.

Friday, June 01, 2007

SHREK THE THIRD

Yes, good ol' Shrek. I really liked the first one. I went with some severely cognitively impaired young adults I was teaching in summer school. It was so fun. It was so new. We saw it at 11:00am at the Metreon. SHREK 2 I saw with a friend in the early evening at the Metreon. It, too was sweet. So far I've said nothing about the film that would inform the non-Shrek person.

My favorite thing about Shrek is that one of the guys who works at the local cafe wrote "Tortuga" under Shrek's picture. That made me laugh. I think tortuga is a funny word; it means turtle. A turtle, a donkey, and a cat. I love cats. It's so fitting that the cat has a Spanish accent. He's portrayed as a player in SHREK THE THIRD. In fact, the kittie is the only one who doesn't reproduce in the film. And that's the plot of SHREK THE THIRD.