Watch what you ask for and make sure if you get it...

Summers in San Francisco are often blah for me. I can't get excited about them sometimes. At least, back in June, we had a few days in which the sun was shining and the temperature was around 80 degrees. I went to the Dolores Park beach with my friend from Burma and we hung out in the shade and listened to the sunshine. Afterward we went to Udupi and I got to sit there in the restaurant with hardly any clothes on. What bliss...

For some reason the July 4th "holiday" brings me alot of angst. I have written a song about it. Next year I'm going to post my version of my song from my old band Martyr Mia and put it on Facebook and Twitter--on July 4th. Or, even better, I will be travelling in Southeast Asia with my new boyfriend. In any case, this 4th of July I received a drag of a present. On Monday, July 5th I woke up with intense pain everywhere in my body. Since that day I have been suffering from a pinched radial nerve in my neck which spans the whole right side of my upper body...yay. I never thought I would want more electricity in the acupuncture needles than I could normally handle!!!

SO, besides the fact that it's been the polar arctic here in the upper Haight for most of July, I have been in severe and debilitating pain with the most serious injury of my life. Yet I can't continue to complain and moan about it. There is someone dear to me and to the people with whom I live who is completely dying at this very moment in the hospital. She is on life support and in unimaginable pain. She refused to have both of her legs amputated, because, by this time, after 3 heart surgeries, three-days-per-week dialysis treatments, a stroke, and no longer being able to talk but still conscious, she has decided the other side is much more appealing.

This is the second time now that I have seen someone fight back against the ravages of the body. My friend Margaret who is on several Planet Glee episodes on YouTube went through the kind of pain that I have never experienced. And then I get depressed because my arm hurts. Ever since I was a child I got more depressed in the summer. I am very sad for the family of my friend tonight. She is my motivation to sit in meditation every night again.