Last night I went to the ashram in San Ramon. It was so beautiful, the indigo-black sky dotted with stars, with Mars about 2 feet away from a nearly-full Moon.
It was fitting that we talked about astrology...Vedic Astrology. Our friend Mark checked out a book from Amma's library called Vedic Astrology without Tears. I spoke with Sadasiva about the Moon and Mars at dinner after the meditation. He asked me, "Are you feeling angry tonight?" I had to say, no, I wasn't feeling angry. I was just feeling confused because I couldn't meditate. All these memories from the past kept coming up--even Moises. I thought I had forgotten about him.
I asked Sadasiva if he had dated many women from the ashram. He said, yes, he had, and one of those women was at the ashram that evening. He said that Amma throws alot of karmic relationships his way. I said that I have had similar experiences. In 2002 I made out with a guy who was probably 19 or so. When Moises and I got together in 2005, he was 23. The woman Sadasiva had had a relationship with was younger than him also. She came by as he and I began standing up, and he was quick to stop her to talk with him.
Have I learned a lesson from this? I think it's his karma to be lost in the land of wanting a relationship based upon experience rather than appropriateness. I hope that all the relationships I've had have had some love energy--despite the painful karma--swirling among them.
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