When I return to work after a vacation of less than 2 months, and the conditions seem unbearable the first day back, and I want to walk our and I almost do walk out, knowing I have no other economic recompense, I get tired and wish for the past. I used to live on a little over $300. per month. I don't think I ate much. And I never bought new clothes. And I didn't have a car. And life weren't so tedious sometimes.
Nevertheless I have felt like there is a wealth of experience beyond the "job" that, as long as it isn't over 7 and 1/2 hours per day, it's maybe do-able. Maybe.
In any case, the experience of watching the 2007 documentary on the band Joy Division, really helped me overcome the braindeadness of suprastress. The footage of the band and how they sounded in the beginning and their having come from an industrial place in England were the threads that wove themselves through the film. The film itself with the band members and other players in their success be interviewed in 2007 looking back, all of them set against a typical black confessional background, was kind of corny and pretentious. I had never seen the band although I had both of their records and played them all the time when I was about the same age as they were. I was going through a break up with my husband.
Ian Curtis got married at 17. He later had a French-speaking Belgian girlfriend. He read incessantly and had untreated bipolar disorder. When I listened to the band, I had no idea how Ian writhed all over the stage or what he looked like. I guess I didn't care. I was a punkette but had to work to pay for some expensive studio I had gotten in the upper Haight.
But the experience I had of Joy Division was not all about me. It was about other lives of my own of those of others and somehow transporting myself out of this lifetime to another my own --or someone else's.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
FRIENDS OUT WEST!
Yes, it has been one of those weeks in which one just looks for something to read to take one's mind off all the "problems," and for me that transportative book tonight is Dora's trip out west. THe first page has a giant Dora with her hands on her hips standing next to a giant cactus with a couple of pretty pink flowers. Dora says "Howdy explorers! I am Cowgirl Dora..." She then opines that the horses must be fed. Map says she must go through "Echo Tunnel" but how will she know it's Echo Tunnel?
"Right!
Make an echo.
Will you help me?"
The tunnel has to say 'hello' back for it to be an Echo Tunnel of Dora's 'hello.'
(This is hard to write while listening to Vinnie Vincent but it's more fun.)
Map tells Dora to go through the rocks and sees something red. It's Benny's barn. Off she goes, saying 'Happy Trails.' Just like some old man said back in the eighties. The one who feared the reds and wore cowboy boots. The one who made cruelty only a precursor to Alzheimer's. There have been two clones of him in the capital of the U.S.
You can throw away your cowboy boots!! Feed them to your pet dog. Endangered!! This country can't go down any further down these 'Happy Trails.'
"Right!
Make an echo.
Will you help me?"
The tunnel has to say 'hello' back for it to be an Echo Tunnel of Dora's 'hello.'
(This is hard to write while listening to Vinnie Vincent but it's more fun.)
Map tells Dora to go through the rocks and sees something red. It's Benny's barn. Off she goes, saying 'Happy Trails.' Just like some old man said back in the eighties. The one who feared the reds and wore cowboy boots. The one who made cruelty only a precursor to Alzheimer's. There have been two clones of him in the capital of the U.S.
You can throw away your cowboy boots!! Feed them to your pet dog. Endangered!! This country can't go down any further down these 'Happy Trails.'
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Mt. Shasta and THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS 2
What I won't do for a thrill or because I'm bored. The Mt. Shasta trip was quite thrilling in that the drive to the mountain on the main highway was really a roller coaster ride around massive trucks. My palms were sweating. I think I was having a panic attack, but I had to keep driving. There were no turn-outs except those to get to different roads off the main track. What a relief it was to finally get there, close to darkness setting in.
It was difficult to see the mountain the second day because it was surrounded by smoke from all the fires that Northern California experienced all summer. But the presence of the mountain could most definitely be felt. When I meditated, I felt some energy in my solar plexus (the third chakra) that I hadn't felt before. The energy was empowering. I was so glad to receive it because I didn't sleep well any of the nights we were there. I wish I could remember those dreams I had, because I was very close to the waking state while sleeping.
We met someone who lived nearby who had lived in San Francisco for many years but had been up in Shasta for a couple of years. I think he moved with his girlfriend but now he was living alone. He was asking about the flyers we had put up around the town and the area of the house for a missing macaw. My friends' bird flew up twenty plus feet into a tree the first night we were there. We could hear him in the trees below the house but couldn't see him. Miraculously he flew back to the house the next day after we left. What a miracle. He was famished and ate for hours. He also was making sounds he hadn't made before: growling, hissing, etc.
At the movie theatre the other night there were a few people hissing--politely! There must have been about 20 of us in a huge theatre that holds 150 people. It was a Monday night. The film we came to see was THE SISTERHOOD...2. My friend was the one who wanted to see it. She saw the first one; I hadn't. Now I try to support films that feature women and their stories. There are far too many crime scenes and war films out there starring, of course, men.
THE SISTERHOOD...2 and the pants was a bit too far-fetched. Even the sister of one of the characters explained that she had always been kept out of the pants group...the old high school clique, as it were. I'm not saying that "sisterhood" is a bad thing, but it could be more inclusive. Perhaps women in a group (like, for example, THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB) could have more of a reason to become close and establish friendship beyond clothing-- like pants...blue jeans, for that matter.
More specifically, if a rich person gets into art school it's still kind of a joke. The life drawings done by one of the characters who is studying at Rhode Island School of Design were almost like stick figures. And the character who goes on an archeological dig has to be immature enough to go into the area where danger signs/no entrance are posted everywhere. And the filmmaker is getting information for working on her script by being somewhat punkish and dismissive to the customers. Maybe this film should be re-named THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING POSE.
It was difficult to see the mountain the second day because it was surrounded by smoke from all the fires that Northern California experienced all summer. But the presence of the mountain could most definitely be felt. When I meditated, I felt some energy in my solar plexus (the third chakra) that I hadn't felt before. The energy was empowering. I was so glad to receive it because I didn't sleep well any of the nights we were there. I wish I could remember those dreams I had, because I was very close to the waking state while sleeping.
We met someone who lived nearby who had lived in San Francisco for many years but had been up in Shasta for a couple of years. I think he moved with his girlfriend but now he was living alone. He was asking about the flyers we had put up around the town and the area of the house for a missing macaw. My friends' bird flew up twenty plus feet into a tree the first night we were there. We could hear him in the trees below the house but couldn't see him. Miraculously he flew back to the house the next day after we left. What a miracle. He was famished and ate for hours. He also was making sounds he hadn't made before: growling, hissing, etc.
At the movie theatre the other night there were a few people hissing--politely! There must have been about 20 of us in a huge theatre that holds 150 people. It was a Monday night. The film we came to see was THE SISTERHOOD...2. My friend was the one who wanted to see it. She saw the first one; I hadn't. Now I try to support films that feature women and their stories. There are far too many crime scenes and war films out there starring, of course, men.
THE SISTERHOOD...2 and the pants was a bit too far-fetched. Even the sister of one of the characters explained that she had always been kept out of the pants group...the old high school clique, as it were. I'm not saying that "sisterhood" is a bad thing, but it could be more inclusive. Perhaps women in a group (like, for example, THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB) could have more of a reason to become close and establish friendship beyond clothing-- like pants...blue jeans, for that matter.
More specifically, if a rich person gets into art school it's still kind of a joke. The life drawings done by one of the characters who is studying at Rhode Island School of Design were almost like stick figures. And the character who goes on an archeological dig has to be immature enough to go into the area where danger signs/no entrance are posted everywhere. And the filmmaker is getting information for working on her script by being somewhat punkish and dismissive to the customers. Maybe this film should be re-named THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING POSE.
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