Yesterday was Shivaratri

Saturday, February 25th was Shivaratri, a Hindu celebration of Lord Shiva, god of destruction/creation. Actually, in India, everyone had celebrated the day before (due to time differences, of course). I went with two friends from Love of Ganesha out to San Ramon to be with the people of Amma's ashram for this auspicious occasion. We left at 5pm and got there at about 6:15pm. The festivities had not begun yet, fortunately. We missed the chanting of the 1,000 names of Amma, though. We did chant the 108 names of Amma and then heard a talk by one of her swamis about Shiva and his own personal relationship with Amma.
He recounted that when he first became a devotee of Amma he was accepted into one of India's most prestigious film schools. He said that over 500 people would apply every year and that only 20 would be chosen to attend the school each year. (I was really wondering what kinds of films he had made or what the criteria was for this film school, but he didn't get into that.) He was accepted and hoped that Amma would manifest a film camera for him. He approached her several times and got no answer. He then asked her what kind of seva (selfless service) he could do at the ashram. She wouldn't give him an answer. Finally she told him that his seva was to clean up the "cowshit." He had to milk the cows and feed them. He did this task for about a month when he decided that "Amma had not recognized (his) godliness, and therefore he wasn't going to do this seva anymore. He came outside later than usual, and he discovered that Amma was out there cleaning up the cowshit and caring for the cows. He felt really bad and related his experience to how Shiva helps destroy certain aspects of the ego to allow us to be something

Happy Birthday to Me.

It's not really my birthday. Actually, I thought it was still Saturday and the birthday of my former lover would have been happening. This is the guy I felt a strong karmic connection with. He drives me to write ungrammatically, so bear with me, please. The odd thing is that it's not only he who makes me feel uncomfortable but the other people I work with at Love of Ganesha also. Last night there was a birthday party for the owner. The owner doesn't like parties. She sat the whole time with her husband at a table away from everyone else. I had to sit at the same table as this ex-lover (the one from Nicaragua). It was a nightmare. He waved at me 5 seats away and didn't even call out my name as though he had forgotten it. I wasn't about to set up more bad karma, so I said hello. "How are you?" he said. I said, "Good, how are you." "Oh, very good." The compeition was on. I decided to give him a friendly/sarcastic thumbs up and said, "Good for you."

Actually, I'm too tired to think about this stupid stuff. I'm sick of getting treated badly by men. Only one has been recently half-way honest and kind. I'm not going to mention what a woman said at the party to get at me about this guy. Her story will fall under the category of "Why Civilization is so Uncivilized?" and the role women play in making men moe stupid and themselves more petty.

What's 'a mattah with Petah?

Has anyone watched and wondered at "The Family Guy?" It is too hilarious to the point of being sanely absurd. I'm wondering which character you most identify with:

Thanks for thinking about this. I'll reveal my secret character generator later.

(It was another difficult Monday to wake up to!!!!!)